Sometimes I’m not so motivated to write anything on my blog.
When things don’t go the way I want them to go.
But yesterday somebody gave me the insight, that people like to read ‘bad news’ they love to see ones emotions and sorrows. So, as my blog is here to share my life, I should write about the World Cup and my car.
Last weekend I joined the World Cup Boulder in Eindhoven (Holland). I’d been training for weeks. Not months because months ago I was still covered in plaster: I had a broken wrist.
So recovering and training for the competition in once. Not the best combination, but it went quite well. I was (and still am) making such fast progress. From climbing just 6a routes on toprope in April to onsighting 6c boulder and flashing 7a boulders in June.
Though I feel my wrist when I climb. Not a lot, not that it really hurts, but I feel it. Just like I’m not strong enough on my wrist or get tired fast on my right hand and then in stings a bit. Very annoying...
So, finally there on the worldcup. I guess I was strong enough in my fingers and not too nervous. I met some friends who also joined the Iceclimbing competitions and was already less nervous.
On Friday in the isolation I was already getting a bit insecure. Gosh, I thought, those girls are light and skinny. Gosh, they’re doing hard stuff as warm-up. Gosh, what if I get nervous? Oh, shit, I think I am nervous...
Then around 11 it was finally my turn.
The first problem was ok, as I reached the zone in my first go. And then I though, oh, well if this is the level I can expect for the rest of the boulders, I’d be fine and maybe even top out some. So to save some energy and stay relaxed, I quit and waited for the next boulder.
This second boulder wasn’t as easy. It was weird, balancy, girly. Definately not my style. As I couldn’t reach the Zone, I got a bit more nervous and my concentration level dropped.
After quite some tries I decided to stop and maybe go for the next boulder.
Number three was a dyno, at least, I guess it was a dyno. I wanted to use the sides, skip the dyno, but my confidence dropped to minus temperatures. Dynoing is not my thing and so try after try...I just couldn’t fix the holds. The speaker started talking about me and I didn’t agree to what he said. More listening to the audience, the people watching me and all the noise then getting focussed on my job: sicking the boulder.
Time was up, next boulder, number four.
Completely out of focus, loosing all my strength and confidence I couldn’t even get to the first hold after the starting holds! And I knew this kind of boulders is my thing. Bit tricky, toehook, bit dynamic, positive holes in an overhaninging wall. And I guessed I had to heelhook. I love doing heelhooks. But, I couldn’t even get to the hols after the starting holds! A ridge like a crack in a green hold. So annoying! I got angry, not understanding why I couldn’t just grab the thing. It wasn’t even a long move! I tried and tried and lost all my confidence and strength in my climbing...
The last problem to stick and just f
ive minutes. I knew I was too bad to ever reach the semifinals and was disappointed in myself.
Boulder number five. Funny start, easy to reach for the zone and weird to get on after it. Rock over my leg and get the crimper. But my energy, confidence, concent
ration and mood were too low to even climb anything. I knew it wasn’t such a hard thing to climb, but I just couldn’t make it to the top. What a bummer!
And there I stood, climbing like a bad of potatoes and was ashamed. Ashamed of myself, was I really that bad of a climber? Was I on my place between these climbers? Why do I never do well on comps?
To make it even worse I watched the screen and noticed I landed in last place. Great.
On such a moment I’d rather quit climbing, hide for all people who want to ask me how I did on the comp and just become window-washer, hairdresser or supermarket employee and do some easy sports like fitness or soccer.
The next day I watched the semi finals and the finals.
So good to see those men (and women) climbing. Rachel, another Dutch climber did really good. I made a lot of videos of the climbers, maybe I can learn something of it. Placed them all on YouTube. (Click the link).